Library

I love spending time at the Library, one because of the books. I love books, their smell, their physical presence that symbolizes rows and rows of rich knowledge ready to devoured. I love the still sound of the Silent study space, where sometimes near lunch time, my rumbling tummy threathened to turn me into a vicious troll whom everyone will cast and evil eyes on.

This morning as I waited for the library computer to boot, I cast my eyes around the social study areas where I have been 'nesting' for the past 3 weeks. Indeed, I see the same face on exactly the same spot. Different clothes and different hairdo.. but the same person, same frown and same dead serious stare on their computer screen. Occasionally, there's a new person who came early and seize someone 'regular' spot. Then that someone will come along, stop for a second few steps from the occupied 'regular' spot... cast a killing look toward the 'regular' spot snatcher then take a deep breath before unwantingly looking for a new spot.

I have several favourite spot in the library. I get bored easily and need suitable spot for different study need. Sussex University Library (Which I am sure similar to other library) has different study areas: Social Study areas, Quiet Study areas and Silent Study area. I am more of a silent study areas person. Silence helps my brain to focus and able to produce productive thoughts. One of my classmates and fellow library 'sitter', claimed that the silent study area drives her crazy. She needs to see people around or at least some movements and sounds. She always picks the social study areas. However, lately I have been using the social study areas simply because they have wide screen so I can see 2 or 3 douments at once. This is beneficial for my cross analizying research findings and comceptual frameworks. However, I do not really like the surrounding. First, too many people walking here and there. Second, people talking (although in a low hushed voice) but that's distracting. Third, nosey people glancing over the sceen I am working... that's highly irritating. Fourth, the ding sound of the elevator and the bam sound of the swing door always drives me mad.

Therefore, by lunch time, I shall look for another spot before I lose my sanity.

Anyway, do you have a favourite Library spot?

Updates on Cancer Research UK - Race for Life (-18 days)

I was never a runner. I am not keen on running. I find that running is boring. So you said to me, why taking up 5K running challenge then? Well, once in your life you got to do something different that pushed you way out of your comfort zone. Running is Definitely NOT my comfort zone. It is way... Waaaaaaay... out there for the above reason I mentioned. However, I am doing this for an important causes. One, to pledge my support for those battling cancer and two, to raise fund for cancer research.

It is now more than a month since I pledge my support and registered to run. Few days ago, running T-Shirt and running number arrived. I opened it in total disbelief that I ACTUALLY will be doing this. I pondered at the fact that my training routine is a mess. Trying to balance house life, dissertation and a monstrous denial, procrastination and dislike of running feeling is like a trying to drag a tractor across a football field with your teeth. I am tremendously  blessed for My better-hal, Simon, who allow me to explore these part of me and have always been supportive.

Last week, I injured my knee and left leg. I think I was pushing it too far with incorrect warm-up and cool-down routines. This week I am begin again. This morning, I did a longer warm-up and exercise gradual pace acceleration. I am still on Sudden burst technique which means I am behind in training when I was supposed to be running a longer and steady period now. But, I am not afraid... The most important thing is not to be injured which will put a long paused in my training, where everyone knows, starting again will means I need to drag that tractor across the football field with my teeth again. 

Almost the End

Wow... How time flies!
The Facebook Notification of Invitation to Official Chevening Farewell Event made me jump. 
So soon... But it only confirming the near future that we all know and expected to happen. 

Soon, I need to submit my Dissertation Proposal. Then the battle to complete the dissertation over Summer will commenced. Then Comes the Dissertation deadline followed by a cocktail of emotions - a mix between weeks of sleep deprivation and high brain activities, Hibernation from social life, family life and social media life, Too much or too little eat depending on what the stress does to you. 

It's a wake up call of how my study has overwhelmed me and the proof is that I do not update my blog as often as I used to. 

Anyway, The end is at sight. What I need to do now... is to keep calm and carry on! Keeping my sight on the final line and do my best to finish...

As my Chinese friend will say to me 'FIGHTING!!'

Run!... Cancer Run!

Yep! That's it! No second thoughts... I am running for Cancer Research UK- Race for Life.

For the past few months, Cancer Research UK TV ad for Race for Life has tugged something in me. I know many of my friends whose life been beaten up by cancer. Many of them show the courage and great strength that I know can only come from their strong faith in God and from the love and care of family and friends. Sometimes I find me hesitating to type a message of encouragement, to say... I am praying for you... to say God will show you the way. For all its worth, I know that for those in battle those uplifting messages can come at the time they needed the most and that small act of kindness such as an FB message can be a source of strength for them to keep going. Then, I saw the Ad. One morning, in the middle of the madness trying to finish my Spring term essay, I call my husband and said, "I am going to do the 5K Race for life this June". I am sure my husband was stunned of this out of the blue message. For one, It was a long time since the sporty me kicked. So this is a huge revelation.

But the truth is, this is my way of saying, I care about all of my family and friends who inspired me in in their battle. I owe this especially to my best friend and soul sister, Emily Pember with her Ministry, 4-Hope of Massachusetts. Her relentless ministry to support people who are going through a life threatening illness inspired me to take this little challenging step. My Cancer research 5K run sponsor ship will not touch her ministry directly but I hope it will contribute to finding the cure to cancer and other devastating illness. If you are reading this and felt the calling to help Emily and her ministry, please click on the link to learn more.

This is also owe to my dear sister in faith, Nur Moebius, whose son, Junaid, passed away from Neuroblastoma. Her battle reminded me that Cancer effected more than the person, it devastated the family and friends too.

So, I invited you to share your story if you ever have Cancer messing with you, your family or your friends. Please support my cause by making donation and/or Coming to Stanmer Park, Brighton, UK, Saturday 29th June 2013 and cheer me on.

3rd Meeting: Word Order

3rd Class Meeting

I LOVE our homework from last week. We were to investigate a famous Spanish speaking person and describe them as much as you can in Spanish. I didn't choose any of the celebrities, although I must confess I wanted so bad to write about Javier Bardeem (I am a BIG fans of him). I did my homework on Mario Benedetti, an Uruguayan Journalist, Novelist and Poet - es de periodista, novelista y poeta. I googled Spanish Speaking Important People and choose randomly a name from the list that goodle provided. Reading about Mario Benedetti got me to appreciate the literary of the Spanish speaking country. I am especially taken by the poem he dictated to his secretary shortly before he passed away.

Mi vida ha sido como una farsa

Mi arte ha consistido

En que esta no se notara demasiado

He sido como un levitador en la vejez

El brillo marrón de los azulejos

Jamás se separó de mi piel

(Fragment)

A free translation into English of these few lines might be as follows:

My life has been like a farce

My art has consisted

In this not being noticed too much

I've been as a levitator in my old age

The brown sheen of the tiles

Never came off my skin

(Fragment)

(Source Wikipedia)

This class meeting we learned:

1. How to count to 10 in Spanish, the name of things around us (table, chairs etc) and colors.
2. We learn about the masculine and feminine attribution to nouns (el and la) and how it ended (-a or -o). Ex:  la mapa (map - masculine, end with -a) and la foto (picture - feminine, end with -o). But not to forget that there are the special words, the irrregular words that stays masculine etc and how the attribute change when they are plural (los - las)
3. We also learned more communicative phrases

Discovery:

The adjective+Noun placement in Spanish is the same as in my Language, Bahasa Indonesia.
    English -     Red Book
    Spanish - el libro rojo (book red)
    Indo     -     Buku Merah (book red)

Is it helpful for my Spanish learning when I find a similarity of pattern in my L1 and my first learned foreign language? Yes and No. In a way it is motivating because at least I have a notion of knowledge but it is confusing because my brain says foreign language thus i switched to English pattern and soon got tangled in my english-spanish 'transfer of knowledge'. (Note to self: train myself to approach the matter in a differnt perspective)

To Do: This is a good insight on the role/interference of L1 (or 1st learned foreign language) in L2 learning. --

When the nature whisper...

Nature has its way of awaken the poet within me.
Perhaps its because the liberating feeling after the mid-term essays
Perhaps it's the climaxed of feeling and thoughts left bottled up
during my cognitive/academic phase
Perhaps it's because I miss my family so much
But this morning stroll at Sheffield Park and Garden, Sussex, UK,
brought out the poetic side of me...
It was like ... the nature whisper... thoughts... reflections
Luck was on my side and my faithful pocket camera didn't fail
to help capture those thoughts
as they ran wild and perched on the dancing autumn leaves.

These following pictures and poems are originally posted on my Facebook Photo Album

"Majestic Red flame
on the bed of green
where I lay and the tower gaze
Toss a dime
to the mirrored lake
and see me ripple as the season waste"

 "..and I changed color and dance in the wind
before you come and swept me of my feet...
before my fall and life will begin...
always in that crisp autumn day..."

'Beneath that tree where we sat... 

where the leaves canopy shield the sun. 

The crunching sound of the leaves 

under my shoes 

as we toast the flag of red and blue"

"Cherry Blossoms... Cherry Blossoms
It's autumn morning and you're in your glory
Hang on tightly to the naked branch
when all around you the color fall"

"Ducks at Sheffield Park
Sunbathing by the bank
Quacking their way to the visitor glance
Hoping to catch crumbs from their hand"

 "To the fading sun my beloved...
We shall walk to the fading sun.
Take my hand as I take yours
And we climb that hill to the fading sun"

"Look inside the mirrored lake
where color trapped and image last
make a wish but do not haste
for dreams will paint you future fast"

"The pond where the trees and grass meet
they keep secrets no one could tell
when a sweetheart wonder by chance
to drown the sorrows of love and life"

Note: Pictures and Poems are mine. Please ask before using any. Thank you

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A Day to Remember

picture from http://www.heruni.com/111111/

Today is the 10th of November 2012. It is the Indonesian National Hero day.
Tomorrow is the 11th of November 2012. The Remembrance Day...
TV is showing the BBC Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance
Tears flow freely on my cheek, my heart trembles in prayers not just for soldiers those who are serving, but
... to family who lost their loved ones... wives, husbands, children, parents, friends and community
... to the places on earth where conflict rage
... to those we call 'enemy'
... to men women and children who fell victims and who are left with no options but
to carry on living in those war torn country

I saw veteran soldiers in their old age, stand proud
   their muscles remember the drill,
   their eyes remembers... 
I saw the young soldiers in their youthful spirit
   strong build, gaze steadily for the future
   they too shall remember...

My second Remembrance Day in UK
My heart pines for peace
My prayer goes for each poppies and crosses bearing the name of the fallen ones
My heart breaks in solidarity with every war torn place

Red poppies rained down on TV
Red eyes and little tears on soldiers eyes
Trembled  lips on the young and the old soldiers
Two minutes of remembrance for heroes that will never be forgotten

I sat watching this as it happen on TV
In my cozy and warm bed
In far away places, there stood those that my prayer will touch.

"For your tomorrow, we gave our today"
We remember ... you will never be forgotten
For 10 Nov 2012 - Indonesian National Hero Day & 11 Nov 2012 - UK Remembrance Day
----

Time: More or Less? Fast of Slow?

Riding up to the Sun - Jakarta Sept 2012
Photo by Helena

Concept of Time is so relative and flexible that it bends and curves according to our mental and psychological state. The clock itself tick-tack-tick-ing in the same rhythms and the same measured distance. Well, of course we did turn back the clock for 1 hour last Sunday to mark the end of British Summer time (day light saving) and hopped back to GMT. It is still a bizarre concept for someone who came from the Equator.
This week we are entering Week 7 of our Autumn term dates. it means that in this 12 weeks course, we have 5 weeks to go before final term essay bound our hands and legs to Library and chained our hands, brains and senses to books and computers... oh well... it's a metaphoric exaggeration of course. Nevertheless, time has fly by, up to now, I still feel enormous lacking of understanding in key terms and ideas of subjects that I am taking this term. Feels like 24 hours is not enough to balance study, rest, entertainment, everyday life and homesick. Last week, I as pulling my bedroom curtains to close when I realized that it felt like I have just open the curtains to let the sunshine in a moment ago. How fast time went by from the opening to the closing of my bedroom curtain. It is not about the the darkness that fall early in this Autumnal weather but indeed... my brain cannot work as fast as I assumed it can.... poor brain..

On the other hand, time decided to almost stand still when I am missing my husband and daughter and awaiting for their arrival in December. It almost felt like eternity to realized that I simply just left home 2 months ago. In this 2 months my beautiful little girl, has develop an ability to form a complete sentence, a skill to use intonation, wh- words and cheeky banter. How I am so jealous! I longed to be part of that historic moment. The excruciating part of my everyday is bedtime. This last 1 week, I developed an insomnia. Unable to sleep because I miss her so much. I find myself tak about my husband many times (note to self... reduce that!) to my friends... "O my husband will like that'... "O he can do this/that with it"... "O Simon is a great DJ and Dancer"... etc etc etc etc... my beloved friends here I am sure been fed up but they are so sweet to just go along with me.

I re-discover that understanding that TIME is God's gift. Its flexibility enables us to see life in a different light: an opportunity to appreciate little things in life, an opportunity to reflect and to do better than the day before and a strengthening of faith that God is with you every millisecond of your life.

In the bible of Jeremiah 10:23 says ..

²³ Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own;
    it is not for them to direct their steps.

and on I Samuel 20: 3  

³ But David took an oath and said, “Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, ‘Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.’ Yet as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.”

Be grateful for your blessings of time. Use it wisely and may it blesses others around you. Let me end it with a poem by Amy Darnbrook

TIME

by Amy Darnbrook

 Time goes fast
 Time goes slow
 Time sees people die
 Time sees the grass grow
 Time does not forget
 Time does not forgive
 Time crushes and kills
 Time takes all you have to give
 Time rushes past
 Time ticks and tocks
 Time is shown by the sun
 Time is on the kitchen clock
 Time is going slowly
 Time tells you what must be done
 Time is running out
 Time waits for you to have fun
 Time is impatient
 Time is kind
 Time is cruel
 Time doesn't mind
 Time is a second
 Time is forever
 Time is right this minute
 Time is now or never.-
 

Spanish Class - 1st Meeting: An Encounter

Photo taken from http://www.uni.edu/becker/Spanish3.html

Notes from Spanish Class1st meeting:
We were 2 Filipinos, 1 Kuwaiti, 4 Chinese and 1 Indonesian sitting around the table at Campus Dine Central.We munched on our sandwiched, cold pasta, doughnuts and hot beverages. They will be our early dinner and the preparation for our 2 hours adventure to the 'foreign land'. No... we are not going abroad. We are taking language classes and that day was our first class.

We talked in excited tone but no one cannot deny the underlying worry in every utterance. It may sounds funny of why us, the English speaking postgraduates whose native language are not English, should feel anxious and worrisome on second/foreign language class. We have been there and done that before.

I personally can feel the 'butterflies in your stomach' feeling. Start from that knot in my tummy, crept up to my throat, threatening the travel of my just-swallowed doughnut bite then it ends up on my now cold finger-tips. It is the thought of the 'unknown'  and unfamiliar language, pronunciation, word order, structures and grammar. The question of "can I do it?", "Will I ever be able to use it in basic conversation" and all the What-Ifs questions. Then comes the inquiries of "I wonder what the teacher will be like", "Is he/she strict? fun? Boring?", "What about my classmate? Will they be fun, friendly, cooperative or will they be snobbish, arrogant and uncooperative?", "Can I be all those for them? Will they be able to see me that way".

Registering all this questions might sounds, again, silly to you... but after much though I think I should put this in my learning diary. I am experiencing the anxiety of student learning second language. Referring to Krashen notion that in order to succeed in acquiring / learning a language, a student must have high motivation, high self-esteem/confidence and low (to null) Anxiety. My anxiety is considerably quite low for sure for I have deiced to come a long for an expereince, thus my level of 'burden' is lighter and that will contribute to the decrease of my level of anxiety.

OK, so it's time to go to class. I peek through the glass strip on the door and saw some of my fellow classmates are already there. I took one big breath and put a smile on my face as I opened the door.
"Hiya!", I said... and so it is... Hello, adventure! Bring it on!

You cannot study Second Language Acquisition without putting yourself in the shoes of the learner. I mean, we have all been there, as a student, learning our second language - be it English, Spanish, Dutch, German etc. But to rely entirely on those distant memory to fully understand all the notion of SLA will be very naive. Back then, we were studying, learning and acquiring the language. We didn't bother to think which part of our brain works to incorporated those strange noises that should make sense or which theory is applied for our case of acquisition and learning. In SLA class, it is safe to look back at these experience but this distant memory might be out of touch. Enrolling in a foreign/second language class along side the SLA study is a genious approach. For in my case, I have learned English for many many years now. I finish my undergraduate 5 years ago but my language learning experience 'finish' 12 years ago. It 'ended' when I begun my BA study on English teaching. In a sense I no longer studying the language (English) but the teaching aspects, approaches etc. During my BA, I went on teaching although I have been teaching long before I entered University life. Thus in my opinion, I (and us as teachers) sometimes forget how intimidating it is to begin studying a new language.

It was exactly what I felt when I came to sit at my 1st Spanish class. It was all those anxiety on whether I can cut it. I worry if I will make a fool of myself. I worry if I will not understand a single thing. But I am also excited of the experiences and possibility of speaking in another language.

Our first class doesn't exactly start with a big bang. Well of course, we barely know each other. Our teacher, Ms. Helen Quinn, has that warm smile that assure you that things will be alright. She got us to stand up and walk away from behind out tables and stand together in a circle in the middle of the room. We're going to introduce ourselves. -- This really broke the ice especially because at least we now each other name.
Then we got to 'Spanisized' (I know... I know... this is not English word...) our names. It means we need to pronounce our name the way they do it in Spain or modify your name to make it a Spanish one. My name Helena is pronouced 'Elena'. But some of my Chinese friends got a new modified names. Such as Lei lei becomes Layla, San Den becomes Cindy, Jin becomes Ginny etc. This exercise according to me, helped us with self-confidence. Because we got to choose the 'cool' version of our name.

We studied basic introduction sequence, alphabeth and numbers as well as learning the name of the country in spanish and name of profession in spanish. with lots of pair work, physical actions and trial and error.

My note for the teaching approach on the first class is that

1. The teacher enable to bring fun but serious class atmosphere but most importantly, 
2. Creating safe space for learning to happen
3. She taught the basic cue sentences that are useful in class
4. She speaks 60-70% in Spanish. 

Hola.. Estoy aprendiendo Espanol!!

Right... That was just a copy paste from what I Googled. 

I am super excited that I our Second Language Acquisition (SLA) class we are being assigned to take up a foreign language class to put us in the position to better understand a person studying/acquiring second language. I chose Spanish and despite the notion that it is a popular class and the beginners level is full already, I was surprised to learn that I actually get the Level 1 (beginner) Spanish Class. I guess I was very lucky to be bad enough to apply on last minutes and perhaps some one drop out of class and left me with an open slot. hehehe... all in all... I am super excited what ever language that is. 

Because it is an assignment from our SLA class, we are not going to be assessed on our language acquiring ability but by the journal we took on our process of language learning. So this section of Language Course Journal will be dedicated to that. This will be my online Journal... and you are all welcome on my journey in Spanish Class and Second Language Acquisition.

--------------

Why Study Language? Why do you need second or third or fourth language? Why Spanish?
These are the 3 very general questions that I would like to answer in my first Second Language Learning Journal. The basic need of Human is to socialize. They way of doing this is through communication. One form of communication is through language, either spoken or written. Even as young as baby in the womb, we have begun with our communication with other human being. We marvel at the milestones of baby and toddler as they acquire language that will enable them to express their needs, fears and emotions which in turn allow us to understand them as human being as well. Language in one form or another is crucial to our lives basically to communicate with others. Animals have language even plants are said to have a coded 'language'. With all its importance and necessity, we know that through out our lives, we will continue to use, to learn and to acquire language in what ever form that might be. 

Living in a world where media and social networks make the physical distance a thing of the past, meaning that we have this wide opportunities to connect with people outside our group, our country, that are different from us. Not just their culture or physical appearance but most importantly the language they use to communicate. While English is perceived as the International Language, but being able to speak in someone else's language is a plus point. When you learn language you are not only learning the grammar, vocabulary and such but a whole range of spectrum that a language brings. You learn and understand the culture, the wisdoms, the traditions and values that they uphold. Speaking more than one language not only make you a polyglot but I believe it should enable you to be tolerant and understanding with others.

Some people are blessed with growing up with 2 languages at home. My father was raised in Netherlands. He grew up with both Dutch and Indonesian language. He learns bits and pieces of French. He studied German for his Bachelor Degree. I grew up learning Indonesian Language. It was later when I was 7 years old that I began to learn English. My father was my first teacher. My 2 y/o daughter have already been introduced to English beside Indonesian language right from the time she began her process of acquiring language.

Three of us have our own motivations. They are shaped by the time we were living when we need to acquire new language. My father was born in Papua, Indonesia and he did learned Indonesian before their move to Netherlands. He needed to learn Dutch to be able to live and study in the Netherlands. He later learned German because that was a prospective career option for him. I learned English out of my curiosity and was later motivated by my father's talk that English is my 'passport' to travel the world. Now, why do I want my 2 y/o daughter to start learning English so soon? The reason is simple... one, She will be joining me in UK during my MA. Therefore, like her grandfather, she needs to acquire the language to be able to fully live in this foreign land. Secondly, English popularity and importance is growing in Indonesia. One of the guaranty that you will get a good paying job and position, or opportunity for further study is when you have Mastered the English Language.

Further more, I read these following on Internet when I type "Why Learning Spanish?" 
"Research indicates that knowing and using two languages reduces your chances of developing dementia, including Alzheimer's Disease. The scientists who studied this were motivated by earlier studies which showed that bilingualism enhances mental abilities in both children and older adults. Other studies show that studying languages can improve your memory and slow age-related decline in mental acuity. And studying another language makes you smarter! Your critical thinking skills will be improved as you learn to view things through a different lens. Learning a second language stimulates creativity!"

Why Spanish?
The choice for Spanish is simply because I have always wanted to learn Spanish. It's a growing trend to be able to speak Spanish nowadays in Indonesia. But more than that I chose Spanish because it's a language I have never been exposed to. I am feeling rather skeptical if I could even excel in this. Simply because I once failed French... 

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Sussex University... At Last!!!

 Wow! It took me this long to start blogging about this new adventure and opportunities of mine.
But as people said.. Better late than Never...!!!

So here, I am... bundle up under the blanket... 12 days after my arrival in Brighton, UK to pursue my MA in English Language Teaching at Sussex University Under Chevening Scholarship 2012/2013. The weather is fine outside. Typical UK Autumn weather, cloudy and wet. My room is a bit of a mess after a full-on 'international get-together' weekend. Hehehehe... Ok, so below is the summary of my arrival in UK.

First, of all... this not my first time in UK, or to Brighton or to Sussex University. This is a bit like coming home for me. My husband, Simon Matakupan, is the 2009/2010 Chevening Scholar himself.

He studied at Sussex University and I was here with him during his study. More than that, we have the joy of welcoming our first born baby girl on a crisp early autumn day at the Royal Sussex Hospital. We named her Britannia Autumn.

We are blessed to have met a wonderful British Couple who were our Landlords and Landlady. They have showed us the true British spirit and more than that have welcomed and embrace us as their family for the whole year of our stay.

Now as I returned for my MA... they gladly welcomed me and us back. So I am again living with my British mother and father, Mr Rusty and Mrs. Jan Curry. They do not rent out their rooms actually. It is for family and friends. We are fortunate to be included in that circle... More story about this will be featured here.

My courses have started and I thoroughly enjoyed the classes. The reading materials can be overwhelming but they were exhilarating. I put names (theories and terms) to things that I do with my students. I read about new ideas, discover new approach to Language Teaching and Learning. My Lecturers are awesome. They bring 'life' to the subject they taught. I am absolutely thrilled with my classmates... We are such an eclectic bunch... much like myself.  We have embarked on a great platform of an awesome international friendship... Food is the glue... hahahah... no that's just a joke.. but I am convince that this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Beside my Classmates Group, I am fortunate to be blessed with being the part of a distinguish... yet fun and amazing group of Chevening Scholar 2012/2013 who studied in Sussex University too.

So... Despite this cloudy wet windy and cold UK Autumn that greeted me... I am sure this will be an amazing adventure in pursuing our study and a start of a warm international friendship.