About being passionate in teaching

It's 5.28 PM and I am still at my desk at the lecturers room.
It's time to go home.
But I feel the need to write something down.
During my class today, I notices a students (not a member of my class) observing and if i dare to say 'join' the class from the outside. Upon finishing, the student came up to me and asked why I teach with such energy... why so happy? I chatted a bit with that person. and I felt obviously delighted.

I think I can sum it up in one word... passion!
I am passionate about teaching
I am passionate about learning and sharing what I know
I am passionate about inspiring and invigorating my students to learn and to dig deep...

I love my job and I am thanking that student for reminding me of it... just in the time that I am almost 'collapse'.

It is indeed a wonderful day.

Structure 1 and ITL Past slides

Responding to Josafat requests, here are the structure 1 presentation slides I have used in class until now

Adjective
Article, Quantifier, Determiners
Noun and Adjective
Welcome to Structure 1
Verbs and Adverbs

 Introduction to Linguistic Slides

The Balancing Act of a working mother

So I have now begun the new chapter of life.
I am now the new Junior lecturer at Pattimura University English Department.
I am excited of this new tenure... excited for all the teaching, reading, development etc and also fully aware of the hard work that awaits.
So now... my life currently running on tighter schedule. Simon decided to stay home with Tania during my adjustment year. I am ever so grateful for him. I know he enjoy and believes that it is important to spend time with Tania in this 'golden' age of a child. I get a bit jealous now that he spend more time with her.

Everyday, I need to wake up at 6 AM the latest to prepare myself and the lunch I need to bring. I am making it a habit to bring my won food to make sure I have a balance and healthier diet. We currently live in Waai village, where Simon's parents house is. It is about 30-45 minutes motorcycle drive and 1 - 1.30 hours public car transport ride to Ambon city center where the campus is.
Some of my classes began at 8 AM so I need to be strict to leave home by 7 or before that. But on days that I have afternoon class or no teaching day. I cam leave by 8 or 8.30.

I am now began to enjoy my morning reading time in the lecture room. It feels like coming home. Reading has always bring comfort and joy for me. But before that, reading was a necessity. Now that I am in campus most of the time and not having any structural responsibility yet, reading is what i love. at the same time, it helps me to increase and improve also refresh the knowledge and skills I have had for long time.

I planned to leave campus by 4 PM or 5 PM where I went straight back to Passo where our English Course located. I have classes 4 days in a week began at 6 PM to 8 pm. If Simon has classes to at the English Course then we will ride home on the motorcycle and arrived home by 9 or 9.30 PM. But if I have to take public transport, I will arrive home by 10 or 10.30 PM. Public transport to Waai after dark is a bit of a hassle ... almost non existence.

Arriving home, I am usually too tired. I sometimes talk a bit with Tania, read her a book and pray nightime prayer with her then I usually dozed off even before she does.

I wake up early again and went out before she wakes up.

Nope... I have no complain or regret. God is good.
This is my new routine. I am currently juggling and balancing my responsibility as wife and companion to my husband, a mother to my daughter, a daughter to my two family, a lecturer at UNPATTI, a director and instructor of my Language center as well as other alliances and relationship with friends and colleague...

I found that I now grew even closer to God. I need God to keep me afloat. to guide and enable me. In HIM I confide all my deepest secret, flaws, shortcoming, happiness and success. For in HIM I am content. Praise be to GOD..

When Life is Short.... #NulisRandom2015 Day 4

Tania sudah naik ke tempat tidurnya. Saya juga sudah mengganti baju ke baju yang nyaman buat tidur.
Tapi beberapa hari ini Tania susah dan tidak bisa (atau tidak mau) tidur siang. Dia tahu konsekwensinya adalah harus langsung tidur setelah makan malam. Seperti biasa dan layaknya anak-anak seusia dia, pasti saja ada penolakan dan pembangkangan.

Malam ini, Tania kena marah. karena dia berlama-lama naik ke tempat tidur walaupun dia telah memberikan janji penuhnya tadi siang. Tapi dia sedang berbicara dengan Opa dan Omanya lewat HP saya. Opa dan Oma sedang ada di Jakarta untuk health check-up. Saya mensetting HP ke speaker mode agar Tania bisa leluasa bercerita. Lalu kemudian setelah menutup telpon, Tania masih saja jingkrak-jingkrakan di tempat tidur sedangkan saya harus memposting pemberitanian penundaan pengumpulan Tugas Akhir pada mahasiswa saya karena libur kepala puasa. Akhirnya, Saya menaikan nada saya dan 'memerintahkan' dia untuk menggosok gigi.

Lalu SMS itu masuk....

"Telah dipanggil pulang anak dari rekan kerja kita saudari  Xyz. Mohon doa untuk beliau dan keluarganya"

Badan saya ngilu dan lemas. Teman dosen saya ini sudah bertumbuh dalam hati saya. Kami sudah menjadi dekat dan dukanya adalah duka saya (kami) juga.

Baru minggu lalu ia bercerita tentang anaknya yang sudah mendingan dari sakit dan telah kembali ceria.
Baru minggu lalu ia bercerita tentang anaknya dalam English Club Session yang saya pandu.
Baru minggu lalu, Tuhan! ... Dia sungguh optimis anaknya sudah baik-baik saja.

Anaknya belum juga 1 tahun... Saya rasa sekarang dia pun sedang berteriak 'Mengapa?"

Life is short for the little angel... membuat saya teringat sebait lagu CCM, Held by Natalie Grant

"To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling"

Beberapa saat yang lalu Tania akhirnya tertidur... Tidur sambil saya dekap erat.
Hati saya remuk mengingat saudari saya akan menghadapi malam-malam berat untuk entah berapa lama. Cobaan ini berat ya Tuhan.... Cobaan dan Ujian ini sungguh berat.

Kata dan kalimat apa yang bisa kami bilang untuk membuatmu tersenyum
Kami cuma bisa topang dalam doa.... Kami cuma bisa bilang kami berdiri bersamamu
Kami... saudarimu.

------------------------
HELD
by Natalie Grant
(translated by me)

Two months is too little, they let him go     

          (Dua Bulan. Dia masih terlalu kecil. Mereka harus melepaskannya)
They had no sudden healing

          (mereka tidak punya kesembuhan / keajaiban)
To think that providence

          (untuk berpikir bahwa yang maha kuasa)
Would take a child from his mother

          (Akan mengambil seorang anak dari ibunya)
While she prays, is appalling

          (sementara ia berdoa, adalah hal yang mengerikan/menyedihkan)

Who told us we'd be rescued

          (siapa yang bilang kita akan diselamatkan)
What has changed and

          (apa yang sudah berubah)
Why should we be saved from nightmares

         (mengapa kita harus diselamatkan dari mimpi buruk ini)
We're asking why this happens to us

         (kami bertanya  mengapa hal ini terjadi pada kita)

Who have died to live, it's unfair

          (yang telah mati untuk kembali hidup, ini tidak adil)

This is what it means to be held

         (inilah yang rasanya ketika kita dipegang)
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

          (beginilah rasanya ketika yang tersuci dicabik keluar dari hidup kita)
And you survive

          (dan kita selamat - tetap hidup)

This is what it is to be loved and to know

          (inilah rasanya dicintai dan untuk tahu)
That the promise was that when everything fell

          (bahwa janjiNYA adalah ketika segala sesuatunya runtuh)
We'd be held

          (Kita akan selalu dipegangNYA)

 

This hand is bitterness

          (Tangan ini adalah kepahitan)
We want to taste it and

          (Kita ingin merasakannya dan)
Let the hatred numb our sorrows

          (membiarkan kebencian/kepedihan mematikan rasa dari kesedihan kita)
The wise hand opens slowly

          (Tangan yang Bijak itu terbuka dengan perlahan-lahan)
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

           (bagi bunga Lily di padang dan untuk hari esok)

This is what it means to be held

         (inilah yang rasanya ketika kita dipegang)
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

          (beginilah rasanya ketika yang tersuci dicabik keluar dari hidup kita)
And you survive

          (dan kita selamat - tetap hidup)

This is what it is to be loved and to know

          (inilah rasanya dicintai dan untuk tahu)
That the promise was that when everything fell

          (bahwa janjiNYA adalah ketika segala sesuatunya runtuh)
We'd be held

          (Kita akan selalu dipegangNYA)

 

If hope if born of suffering

            (jika Pengharapan itu lahir dari Kesengsaraan)
If this is only the beginning

          (Jika ini hanyalah permulaannya)
Can we not wait for one hour

          (Tidakkah kita dapat menunggu satu jam lagi)
Watching for our Savior

         (menantikan Penyelamat kita)

This is what it means to be held

         (inilah yang rasanya ketika kita dipegang)
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

          (beginilah rasanya ketika yang tersuci dicabik keluar dari hidup kita)
And you survive

          (dan kita selamat - tetap hidup)

This is what it is to be loved and to know

          (inilah rasanya dicintai dan untuk tahu)
That the promise was that when everything fell

          (bahwa janjiNYA adalah ketika segala sesuatunya runtuh)
We'd be held

          (Kita akan selalu dipegangNYA)

Which one? Memasak atau Mencuci... #NulisRandom2015 Day 3

(Tulisan ini terinspirasi tulisan teman saya Ni Nyoman Anna dalam Nyomnyomblog.)


Definitelly memasak lah... Saya mau saja masak dari pagi sampe malam selama tidak disuruh mencuci.
Saya paling benci disuruh mencuci. Baik pakaian, piring, rumah dll. Tapi saya paling suka memasak.
Belum bisa disebut Ahli masak... karena saya masih belajar. Tapi sedikit demi sedikit ketrampilan memasak saya lebih terasah baik dari skill, pengetahuan, balancing rasa dll.

Saya suka masak karena saya suka makan... dan ini tentu tidak membuat badan saya berterima kasih. intinya, badan saya subur sekali hehehehe... sudah dua minggu ini saya perhatikan timbangan ini kok tidak turun dari 60 ya... bahkan naik 4 kilo... mwahahahahaha.... AIB!
Anyway.... bagi yang baca ini semoga anda satu golongan timbangan dengan saya sehingga anda merasa tidak sendirian. Saya sekarang (sudah) tidak malu (lagi) dengan berat badan. Sekali-kali masih di'ejek' suami... hehehehe... Tapi saya sangat happy dengan hidup saya. Timbangan has nothing to do with it.

OK balik ke memasak. Mahasiswa dan murid-murid saya yang lain tahu benar kalau saya addicted to Masterchef... hihihiihii... bahakan adik saya akan bilang "Katong bisa nonton lain selain masak-masak dan CSI-CSIan, ka seng?"... Oh ya, That's my other addiction ALL CSI. my favourite is still undoubtedly NCSI with Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Don't laugh SIMON!) and Ziva David.

As for mencuci dan membersihkan... Itu tunggu ada moodnya dulu. Kalo urusan mencuci piring, My mom selalu komplain kalau saya memasak dengan seluruh panci, baskom dll yang ada di lemari. Well, she does have a point. Tapi mau gimana lagi... saya masak 2 atau 3 masakan sekaligus jadi memang harus begitu dong... As for mencuci pakaian, thank GOD sudah ada Mesin cuci dan Laundry hehehe...

Membersihkan rumah dan kamar? Puji Tuhan, saya diberkati dengan Suami yang rapih... kadang dia suka jengkel juga saya sukanya naroh barang sembarangan. Tapi sejak menikah, kamar saya (kami) selalu rapi, bersih dan bebas debu... ehem... What???!... I am NOT perfect, people!
I love you Honey!

When in Doubt.... #nNulisRandom2015 Day 2

I have the privilege of being able to make the choice of staying with my daughter and see her grow up. My husband and I both have this privileged of choice. This morning I woke up to Tania sleeping Beside me on our bed. Simon explained that she wet her bed last night. Simon was frazzled from not enough sleep and I still have my headache from last night.

Both Simon and I are living quite a different lifestyle we had few years ago. Simon worked at an International Humanitarian NGO which deployed him to places around Indonesia and abroad as well as frequent travel domestically and abroad. I was deeply rooted with peace building, reconciliation and interfaith activities with grassroots Ambon. but then we both went abroad to study and then.... we had Tania.

I must admit, I felt lost and jealous of others in motion around me. I am not second guessing and regret having Tania... God knows I never did. But frankly any mother/parents will definitely go through this phase of transition. I am glad that both Simon and I go through this together and that we have the same ideas of what we want out life to become.

Tania became the center of our world. We arrange our schedule and activities around her. It's not easy trying to put everything in proportion. We are blessed beyond measures that we have and are able to make our own choice. After our return from our study in UK. Simon and I spent few months not working and just enjoying our time with Tania. We are blessed with families of both sides who have no expectation or demand of us. It's the way our life and our society functions. Imagine what will become of us when we live in the 'western' society where it's almost dis empowering to live with your parents once you come of age. Once we marveled at the amazing simplicity and contentment of our life that we go around for more than a month with only Rp. 50,000,- (3.57 pounds or 4 dollar-ish) in our pockets. and yet, we never lack a thing.

When we wanted to start working, Simon and I went back teaching at my family run Language center where I can do that from home still watching over Tania. We went on countless picnics, stimulate Tania's learning, spend time playing and reading to her... just bonding with her. When we take more serious job as part time lecturer, Simon and I arrange that when one is teaching the other will stay with Tania. Still, on rare occasion where we both are needed, we have our extended family to fend for us.

Believe you me, though it sounded fairy tale-ish... It's not always so. The price of transition are always too real. We have one or two slip ups, arguments, frustration etc... but Thank God things work out in the end.

So why am I telling you this? I do not want to boast not drool you with my story. I am still battling urges to be free as the wind again. To spend my time roaming the city and do activities with my friends. But perhaps... I grow up... hehehehe... no... It will make growing up sounds so dull and ... wrong... I think having Tania give your life a better perspective. Children teach us not to be selfish.

Lately, I (we) have been busier. Business and work are running very well. Demand for our skills and traits are increasing. Then Tania dropped the bomb as she called me on the phone one night as I was riding the public transport back from my night class down at the city center.

"Mommy, Where are you?"
"Hi, honey. Mommy is in the (public) car. I am on my way home"
"This is awfuly late Mommy" (It was almost 8 PM. I will probably be home past 8)
"I know dear. I am sorry. I have just finished with my class. Have you had your dinner"
"Yes. I have. But you are very late. This is past dinner time"
"I know dear. I am sorry"
"Mommy you always never have dinner with me anymore. You said dinner is important for family"

She was 41/2 years old. She's my wake up call.
The most important thing in life that God gave you is your family. and I have lost sight of that. I let my 'work' define me. I neglect my little girl and my family.
So though it breaks my heart. I make a decision to postpone for a few month a class that I love very much to teach. The class where I still have so  much ideas to share with. I made a promise to myself to be more present for her. Simon and I enforce new rules. No Gadgets (phone, ipad, etc) on dining table at home or at the restaurants. We need to talk. We are loosing our valuable time to gadgets. This realization came to us one day when we were at the restaurants and I was texting a friend. Simon took away my phone and told me to look around the restaurant. Everyone at the tables were sitting side by side fixated to their phone. They do not even talk to each other. He said, "Do we want to be like that?". Hell, no I don't. So we bring pencil and paper. Tania draw and chat with us. We talked about things... important and nonsense. We argue... we connect.

Anyway, If you are able. If your life present you with choice then choose family (children,husband,wife) over work and other activities. But if you cannot, That's fine. don't beat yourself up because of it.
I do not blame nor look down to families who have to work around the clock to provide for their family. I salute them for making that sacrifice. You got to do what you got to do. I am also not better than those working full time mom. I know i may become one of them perhaps next year as the finalization of my official government employee status is instated. But when I do have to work 8-5, God help me to be present when I am with my little girl and my husband.

What Susie says.... #NulisRandom2015 Day 1

Kemarin saya dilantik menjadi pengurus sebuah organisasi baru. Setelah foto2nya beredar di dunia maya, saya mendapatkan beberapa tanggapan dan komentar. Banyak yang memberikan komentar positif tapi ada beberapa komentar yang membuat saya berpikir.

Seupil komentar ini adalah mengenai keraguan akan kredibilitas dan kemampuan orang-orang yang ada dalam kepengurusan tersebut. Ya, ini adalah organisasi baru dan Ya, mereka (dan saya) yang ada didalamnya adalah orang-orang muda. Ya, Kami belum cukup banyak makan asam garam. Ya, beberapa (dan bahkan semua kami) telah mencetak beberapa imej baik dan buruk.

Tapi bukankah semua manusia juga demikian?

Sekuat apapun manusia berusaha berbuat yang terbaik. Manusia mungkin melakukan kesalahan.
Sebaik apapun tindakan kita pasti ada orang yang melihat dari sisi yang terburuk.

Dalam hidup saya, selama bertumbuh dan berkembang, saya banyak mendapat dorongan positif baik dari orang tua, handai tolan, guru dan teman. Mereka semua percaya pada saya, pada kemampuan saya dan pada kerja keras saya. Pada suatu saat, saya sungguh percaya semua itu dan menjadi sombong.

Pepatah berbahasa Inggris mengatakan, "Pride goes before a fall" (Kesombongan adalah awal dari kejatuhan), dan hal ini terjadi pada saya. Dalam hidup saya yang sudah 30 tahun lebih ini, saya banyak mengalami kekecewaan dan kekalahan bahkan kejatuhan dan kesalahan. Namun semua itu membuat saya semakin bijak. Bukan untuk dilihat orang tapi bijak bagi diri sendiri agar saya dapat hidup damai.

Saya belajar bahwa saya tidak lebih baik dari orang lain. Puji Tuhan, saya punya beberapa pengalaman yang dianggap banyak orang lebih dari dari orang lain, namun itu tidak menjadikan saya yang paling baik.

Ketika tadi malam dan pagi ini saya mencermati setiap wajah dalam foto-foto hasil pelantikan kemarin. Saya melihat begitu banyak potensi dan pengalaman yang dapat mereka (dan saya) bawa dalam proses tugas mulia kami. Ya, saya tahu beberapa hal, tapi kawan-kawan saya tahu banyak hal yang saya tidak tahu dengan berkaca pada pengalaman mereka sendiri.

Kami punya awal yang sedikit gamang memang, namun pada hari gladi resik, ketika kami duduk melingkar bersama, ada satu pemikiran yang terus terngiang di kepala saya,

"We all have potentials. Everyone does. All it takes is for each and everyone of this individuals to be given a chance to shine. All it matters is if we work together to use our individuals and common strength to overcome our weakness."

Kemudian setelah membaca dan mendengar komentar-komentar ini ada teman yang suka sharing kutipan inspiratif dan dia mengirimkan foto diatas. "What Susie says of Sally, says more about Susie than of Sally".. bahwa apa yang dikatakan (baca: digosipkan, dibicarakan, dibisik-bisikan) oleh Susie tentang (keburukan) Sally sebenarnya lebih mencerminkan siapa Susie sebenarnya dibandingkan tentang Sally.

Sehingga kalau ada orang yang mempertanyakan kredibilitas dan kemampuan kelompok kecil ini, maka kita sudah dapat menebak mentalitas dan kemampuan orang(orang) tersebut. Mereka mungkin berpikir mereka lebih baik dari orang lain.... dan lebih baik dari kami yang ada dalam tim yang baru dilantik ini.

Tak masalah! Tak perlu mempermasalahkan hal ini.

Bagi saya pribadi ini semakin meneguhkan pembelajaran pribadi dan prinsip saya yang telah saya bangun dan percayai selama ini bahwa saya tidak dan tidak perlu merasa dan membuktikan bahwa saya lebih baik dari orang lain. Kalau saya berpikir begini terus saya akan selalu membandingkan diri saya dengan orang lain. dan jika ini terjadi saya tidak akan pernah merasa puas.

Saya sangat puas dengan diri saya, kegagalan saya dan pencapaian-pencapaian saya selama ini. Saya bangga bisa bertemu dengan banyak orang-orang hebat. The only person I need to be better is my yesterday self. For everyday, I want to be a better person. For me and an example for my daughter.

So yes, kami muda dan masih harus banyak belajar. Tapi belajar harus dimulai pada suatu titik kan? dan ini adalah titik awal kami. Kami mungkin harus jatuh bangun namun ini proses belajar kami.

This is the beginning friends! The road is long... but victory awaits!